Monday, July 22, 2013

Crappy crochet- that's how I roll, baby

This week, I've also been celebrating the fact that I am, truly, the world's worst crocheter. 

Been reveling in it, as a matter of fact.

No, those are tears of joy. Really.

I occasionally get a wild hair and attempt to make a dishcloth. Thankfully, the Head Bottle Washer (AKA The Big Guy) is tolerant of this- he likes the texture, and doesn't mind the sheer-dang-ugliness of my efforts. 

bad crochet dishclothsbadly crocheted dishcloths

See the holes? Yeah, that's right. My man uses them. To wash dishes! 
He wears them out. I make more. 
That's how we roll.

(In case you were wondering: Yes, I DID count the stitches in my rows.
No, I was NOT trying to make any ruffled edges- they just showed up to party.And yes, this is how they always come out.
It's chaos theory in action. Or in this case, in yarn.)

However, once in a while, I break out and do something different, and sometimes it even works.

t-shirt yarn rug

This is the Craftroom rug. It's crocheted from the tarn (t-shirt yarn) of approximately 25 thrifted t-shirts. Because tarn is somewhat uneven, by nature, it doesn't matter that the edges aren't ruler-straight, etc. And it's butter-soft, underfoot. It also washes like a dream. This is very important, in a household such as ours.

It emboldened me to attempt, for Thing Two, a lovely rainbow circle rug. Wanna see the picture?

Huh! Where's the picture?

Oh, that's right. There isn't one. 
It was so bad that I couldn't even bear to take a picture. Thirty or so t-shirts, lovingly made into tarn...and I crocheted them ALL, into the world's wonkiest, curly-uppiest rug.
 I worked reeeeaaaalllly hard on that thing.
It was so wonky that none of us could even bear to look at it.
Ugh. Fail.

But, what can be done can also be undone. 

So here's a picture of the insanely huge BALL OF TARN!

tarn ball
Thing Two, and the Great Ball of Tarn

Note that it's larger than my childrens' HEADS. 
It's larger than a standard schoolyard kickball. It was even bigger, before I started in on it again with the crochet hook- about 16" in diameter.

The kids consider it to be some freaky form of furniture. But as you can see, the transformation has already begun.

It's apparent that I can't- no, let's be honest- absolutely cannot crochet in the round.
It's good to know one's limitations, and to crochet accordingly.
Pray for me. Maybe I can do this:

tarn rug


We'll see.

BTW, if you're looking for a great tutorial on how to turn a t-shirt into this:

tshirt yarn ball

There's a good one here, and it also outlines some great joining methods, for your strips. I used the slit-and-slip method, which gives a nice strong, consistent join.

I'd also highly recommend a curved or ergonomic crochet hook for rugmaking- it makes all the difference, after a row or twelve. My first rugs were done with a straight-shaft hook, and let me tell ya- I won't be doing that again!

And those of you who can successfully crochet: please, ask whatever pernicious deities who rule the realm of crochet to bless this project!

I really don't want to have to undo twelve miles of tarn again.


Come join the party at Craft-O-Maniac Monday!


  1. It looks super soft and comfy! And I bet it crocheted super fast too! ;-)

  2. They do go pretty fast- the craftroom rug was single crochet, nice and simple. It was making the miles of t-shirt yarn that took the time! (And gave me the calluses, LOL!) Making rugs can be so satisfying- it was worth it. :)


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